Be Careful What You Witch For
by Vee22
Summary: Angered by his mother-in-law, Darrin impulsively wishes that he'd never learned that witches were real. Endora grants his wish.
1. Chapter 1

**BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WITCH FOR.**

A/N: This is my first – and hopefully not last – attempt at fan fiction. Reviews and constructive criticism would be much appreciated. If you want to see more chapters, please let me know!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Bewitched characters.

**Chapter One.**

"Sweetheart, I'm home!" Darrin Stephens called, as he opened the front door. It had been an unusually stressful day at McMann and Tate, the advertising agency at which he worked. One of their biggest clients had taken a dislike to Darrin's latest ad campaign and naturally Larry Tate, Darrin's boss, had sided with the client. Having spent three sleepless nights perfecting the campaign, Darrin was more than a little miffed at having to start from scratch once more. After an unproductive afternoon of brainstorming, all he wanted to do was hold his beautiful wife in his arms and have a stiff drink.

Usually when Darrin came home from work, Samantha was waiting behind the front door to welcome him home with a kiss. Coming home to her never failed to soothe Darrin, no matter how strenuous his work day had been. But this afternoon was to be an exception. Instead of his lovely wife, his less than lovely mother-in-law was the first person he saw as he walked into the house. Dressed gaudily as usual, she was sitting in the living room, playing with Darrin and Samantha's daughter, Tabitha. One could almost mistake her for any other ordinary grandmother telling her granddaughter a story. Almost, if it hadn't been for the fact that the book was hovering in the air as Endora read the story.

Seething with rage, Darrin could only stand there, frozen. He had no desire to yell at Endora in front of his young and impressionable daughter. "Endora," he said, gritting his teeth in an attempt to sound cordial. Endora looked up, the usual sneer curling her lips, when she saw him. "Why, Dum-Dum, I didn't know you were home. "

"Really? I thought you knew everything," Darrin said sarcastically. "And it's DARRIN." Endora waved her hand dismissively. "Dum-Dum, Durwood, what's the difference?" Tabitha unwittingly broke the tension between her father and grandmother by jumping off Endora's lap and running to Darrin. "Daddy, Daddy, you're home."

Darrin's eyes softened as he scooped his daughter up in a hug. "Yes I am and I sure am glad to see you, sweetheart. Where's your mother?"

"She had to go shopping," Tabitha explained. "I wanted to go too, but then Grandmama came by and said she'd stay here with me."

"And we've been having a wonderful time together," Endora said smoothly. "I was just telling Tabitha about Cinderella."

Ignoring his mother-in-law, Darrin once again addressed his daughter. "Oh, that's a nice fairy tale, isn't it, Tabitha?"

"It's not just a fairy tale," Tabitha said innocently, her blue eyes sparkling. "Grandmama said that Cinderella is real. She's going to bring her here to meet me."

Darrin gaped and spun towards Endora quickly. "You will do no such thing. Not under my roof, you won't. We don't do that kind of thing here!" Sensing that his statement might lead to some conflict between Endora and himself, he gently put Tabitha down. "Go up to your room and play, sweetheart. Daddy wants to have a little talk with Grandmama."

"OK, Daddy," Tabitha said obediently. As she ran upstairs to her room, Darrin wanted her to always remain the sweet and docile child that she was now. He had no doubt that fatherhood would become a lot more difficult when Tabitha became a teenager and fully comprehended that she could have the world with a twitch of her nose. But magical powers hadn't made Samantha greedy and hedonistic and he hoped that they wouldn't corrupt Tabitha either.

As soon as Tabitha was out of hearing range, Darrin addressed Endora again. "Look, Endora, how many times do I have to tell you? This is an ordinary mortal household in an ordinary mortal neighbourhood and I refuse to let you perform any hocus pocus here. _Especially _when Tabitha is around."

Endora sniggered, as she snapped her fingers and a glass of lemonade appeared in her hand. "Listen, Durbrain, whether you like it or not, Tabitha is one of us. It's of no consequence whether we do or don't use our powers in front of her. She has already demonstrated that she has her mother's capabilities and one day, she is going to reach her full potential."

Darrin felt his head began to throb with the inevitable headache that he always received after any futile attempt to reason with Endora. "Oh, what I wouldn't give to be just like any other ordinary man," he mumbled, as he headed towards the liquor cabinet and poured himself a glass of whisky. "No knowledge of witchcraft or magic or any kind of hocus pocus. If only I could guarantee that I'd never come into contact with magic or witches again."

Endora's catlike eyes gleamed and she leaned forward in her seat. "Is that what you truly want, Dum Dum?" she asked, in a deceptively sweet voice. "Yes!" Darrin said firmly. "I wish that I didn't know about magic. I wish that I didn't know that Samantha and Tabitha were witches. I just want an ordinary mortal life with the average man's knowledge of witchcraft – which would be zilch."

Endora began to laugh. "Very well, Durwood," she said lightly. "Your wish is granted." She waved her hand and Darrin instantly froze into place. Endora arose from her position on the couch and walked over to Darrin. _"Whilst this mortal stands frozen in place, all memories of witchcraft and witches erase. " _

With another wave of her hand, Darrin unfroze. "Endora?" he said, puzzled. "How did you get here?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two.**

_Here's the second chapter…FINALLY! Thank you to all those who have reviewed so far. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. Please continue giving me feedback. I love hearing what you have to say._

**A/N: Endora has erased Darrin's memories of witchcraft and magic and he no longer knows that Samantha is a witch. **

When Samantha arrived home later that afternoon, she instinctively knew that something was wrong. She warily looked around the house as she entered, but everything appeared to be in order. The furniture was arranged correctly, there were no strange animals wandering around and her nosy neighbour, Gladys Kravitz, didn't appear to be on the premises. Yet somehow, she couldn't shake this unmistakeable sensation of dread. And the feeling that somehow one of her relatives was to blame.

"Darrin?" she called tentatively, hoping that he was home. She also hoped that he was still human – and hadn't been turned into an animal, vegetable or mineral. "Sweetheart, are you there? I'm home." Silence. Samantha's heart began to beat a little faster, as she anxiously wondered what might have happened to him. "Darrin!" she called again, a little louder this time. At that point, a Siamese cat wandered into the room and looked at her out of steady blue eyes. It then made its way to Samantha and began to rub itself against her legs, purring loudly.

Samantha's eyes widened in horror. "Darrin!" she exclaimed, as she bent down and picked the cat up. "Oh, sweetheart, how many times have I told you not to get Mother angry?" She stroked the cat and it purred even louder. "It's all right, darling," she said comfortingly. "I'll call Mother back and we'll have this spell removed in a jiffy. And remember, I'll always love you, even if you are a cat."

As Samantha stroked the cat, Darrin walked into the room. He was about to speak when he frowned, listening to the words Samantha was crooning to the Siamese cat she held in her arms. "Well, I'll go and make dinner, darling," she said, with sadness in her voice. "I was planning on making lasagne, but you'd probably prefer tuna fish or something, wouldn't you? Or are your tastebuds still the same, even though you're a cat?"

"Sam?" Darrin exclaimed with surprise. "What gibberish are you spouting to that poor animal? And what's all this about tuna fish? Won't kibble be good enough for a cat?"

At Darrin's words, Samantha spun around and her face instantly lit up. "Oh, darling, you're all right!" she cried. She ran over and wrapped her arms around him – cat and all. Darrin had never shunned an embrace from his beautiful wife and he put his own arms around her and they shared a deep kiss. But they had only kissed for a short time, before Darrin suddenly pulled away from Samantha and said,  
"I didn't realise you loved cats so much, sweetheart."

Samantha laughed. "Well, I don't really, Darrin, but I thought that the cat was you. I'm so glad that it wasn't. Say, where did it come from, anyway?"

"Oh, I'm using it as a model for the Kitty Kat Food campaign," Darrin explained. "Mr Feldman wants a whole new advertising campaign, so I'm going to have to start from scratch. Apparently he doesn't think the campaign that I was working on is good enough. And naturally, Larry sided with Mr Feldman." Then he suddenly seemed to realise what Samantha had said. "What? You thought the cat was me?"

Samantha shrugged sheepishly. "Well, sweetheart, I knew that Mother was baby-sitting and I knew that you were coming early and I was afraid you might lose your temper with her. And as we know, that doesn't usually end up well."

Darrin stared at her, a confused expression on his face. "Sam, I like your mother as much as the average man likes his mother-in-law. In other words, not at all. And it's true that we do get into arguments, because your mother is a selfish, stubborn, evil…"

"Darrin, don't say that!" Samantha exclaimed, looking furtively around, as though she expected that someone was eavesdropping. "She might hear you!"

"What? How on earth could she hear us, Sam? Your mother has many unusual characteristics, but supersonic hearing is not one of them," Darrin said irritably, wondering why Samantha was suddenly acting so strangely.

"Well, obviously because…" Samantha let her sentence trail off without finishing it, suddenly feeling as though something was wrong again. Had Darrin suddenly forgotten that her mother could pop in with a snap of her fingers if she heard his insults and turn him into an artichoke?

"And come to think of it, Sam," Darrin said, as he moved towards the bar and poured himself a drink. "You never did explain why you thought that cat was me." He laughed. "I know I haven't shaved much lately, but I don't think my whiskers are as long as that!"

Samantha then knew that she had been right to suspect that something was amiss. Darrin was acting differently. But what exactly was wrong? Try as she might, she just couldn't put her finger on it.

Just then, they heard a loud noise in the chimney. Startled, Darrin automatically looked up at it. "What's that noise, Sam?" he asked, looking even more puzzled than before.

Samantha opened her mouth to answer, but before she could speak, a little old lady fell out of the chimney. She was carrying an umbrella and a handbag and her clothes were full of soot. She smiled cheerily at Samantha and Darrin. "Hello, children!" she said brightly, as she attempted to get up and stumbled. Samantha quickly sprang forward to assist her. When the old lady was steady on her feet once more, Samantha glanced nervously at Darrin.

"That's…Aunt Clara."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three.**

Chapter Summary – Aunt Clara's attempts to help Samantha and Darrin go astray.

_**A/N: Yay, Chapter Three! I'm really getting inspired to write these days. I just finished a Friends story and then decided it was time to come back to Be Careful What You Witch For. Please continue to review and let me know what you think of this story. And if you have any suggestions or ideas for what should happen, share them with me!**_

**This chapter is dedicated to RainbowAquila. Thanks for following this story and for your two reviews. =)**

Fortunately Aunt Clara seemed oblivious to Darrin's gaping expression, as she allowed Samantha to steer her to a comfortable seat on the couch. "Your chimney's g-g-g-getting a b-b-bit small these days, Samantha," she stammered. "I can't f-f-f-fit in it like I used to."

Samantha shot a quick glance at Darrin as she patted Aunt Clara's shoulder comfortingly. "It's perfectly all right, Aunt Clara," she soothed. "Perhaps our chimney is getting a little small."

From Darrin's flushed face, Samantha sensed an imminent explosion. She rose from her seat next to Aunt Clara. "I'd better start on dinner, Aunt Clara," she said gently. "You just sit here and rest."

Darrin looked practically purple as he managed to sputter out, "I'll come help you."

When they arrived in the kitchen, Samantha began pulling various ingredients out of the cupboards and fridge, humming to herself. Darrin stood nearby, drumming his fingers on the edge of the sink. Finally he could hold his curiosity no longer.

"Sam, what just happened? What happened back there?"

As if she hadn't heard a word, Samantha began grating the cheese for their lasagne. "We haven't had lasagne for a long time. I'm glad I had some fresh cheese in the fridge. It just doesn't taste the same, otherwise."

"Sam, don't you dare ignore me!" Darrin said warningly. "Answer my question. What was going on back there?"

Samantha looked up from her task, a worried expression on her pretty face. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you Aunt Clara was coming. But I didn't know, either. You know how she unexpectedly gets the urge to visit. She won't be any trouble."

"That's all you can say?" Darrin exclaimed. "Your elderly aunt falls out of our chimney and the only thing that surprises you is that she didn't tell us she was coming to visit?"

If Samantha hadn't been sure that something was wrong with Darrin, she was sure now. Aunt Clara frequently visited the Stephens household and the chimney was her favourite entrance. So why did Darrin not seem to remember that?

"Uh…maybe we didn't hear the doorbell, so she decided to come through the chimney?' she joked weakly, wishing that she couldn't see the look of suspicion in Darrin's eyes. It reminded her of her time in Salem during the witch hunts, when everyone had that same expression of suspicion and distrust.

Meanwhile, a worried Aunt Clara had watched her favourite niece and her husband, as they walked into the kitchen. Flaky as she might appear, Aunt Clara could tell that something wasn't quite right. She fervently hoped that they would be able to sort their difficulties out. Then she guiltily wondered if she might be the cause of their difficulties.

"Oh, dear, oh dear. I'm n-n-nothing but trouble," she sighed out loud. Well, she wasn't going to sit idly by and do nothing. If Samantha and Darrin were having trouble, she was going to help them out.

"Now let's see, how can I rework this spell?" she murmured to herself. "Ah, yes. _So that Samantha and Darrin can make everything right, bring the reason for their disputes to light."_

There was a sudden flash of lightning. Aunt Clara turned to see what her spell had created and her face instantly paled. "Oh, dear," she murmured.

_**Any idea about what the outcome of Aunt Clara's spell was? Review and take a guess!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four.**

_**A/N: And we're back! Thanks to RainbowAquila and J for their reviews. You've both given me some great ideas. RainbowAquila - it wasn't what you suggested, but I've drawn inspiration from one of your ideas. Hope you enjoy this chapter.**_

Samantha had finally managed to escape Darrin's torrent of questions, by excusing herself and saying that she needed to check on Tabitha. She was actually planning on calling for Endora in private. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she was sure that her mother somehow had something to do with it.

As she walked into the living room, she frowned, noticing that the living room was strung with lights. Not just any lights, but twinkling red and green Christmas lights, which blinked on and off. A guilty-looking Aunt Clara was standing in the middle, holding a lamp and a torch.

"Oh, my stars!" gasped Samantha. "Aunt Clara, what on earth happened here?" Aunt Clara shifted nervously and looked at the ground, before she raised her head and allowed herself to meet Samantha's astonished gaze.

"Well, uh, dear, I thought I'd get started on Christmas decorating a little early," she said calmly, although her shifty expression suggested otherwise.

"In March? Aunt Clara, that's more than a little early," Samantha said. She could tell that Aunt Clara wasn't telling the truth, but decided not to push the issue. With the way Darrin was behaving, she knew that contacting her mother was a bigger priority.

"Maybe we should just take them down now and you can help us with the decorations in December?"

"Sh-sh-shall I get rid of them, then?" Aunt Clara asked, obviously relieved that Samantha had accepted her explanation.

Samantha smiled at her well-meaning aunt. She knew that despite her flaky ways, Aunt Clara truly loved her and her family. Although her plans and spells didn't work very well, one couldn't dispute that Aunt Clara always had good intentions.

"That would be lovely, dear," Samantha said, as she gave her aunt a kiss on the cheek. "I'm just going to give Mother a call. You can fix things in here, I'm sure."

"Of c-c-course, I can," Aunt Clara said happily. "You know you can c-c-count on me, Samantha."

Samantha smiled as she walked out of the living room and headed upstairs to hers and Darrin's bedroom. She needed a nice private place to talk with her mother. Her smile faded as she thought about the confrontation that was bound to ensue.

"Mother!" she called, her hands on her hips. "Mother, I want to talk to you!" There was no reply. Samantha frowned, knowing that wherever her mother was, she could hear her perfectly well. There were no excuses for her silence.

"Mother!" she shouted again. "Now I know you can hear me! Come here right now. I want to talk to you about Darrin. Mother!"

Still, there was no reply. Samantha now knew that it was futile to keep shouting. Clearly Endora wouldn't be popping in anytime soon. "Oh, Mother, you're such a stubborn witch!" she exclaimed, as she flopped down on her bed and groaned. How was she going to figure out what was wrong with Darrin?

Meanwhile a sniggering Endora silently appeared above Darrin's head in the downstairs kitchen. Darrin was reading his newspaper at the table and waiting for the oven timer to ding and signify that Samantha's lasagne was baked. He was deeply engrossed in an article about a rival advertising company and wouldn't have noticed Endora, even if she had been visible to him. Endora smiled mischievously. It was time to have some more fun.

"Ah, Durwood," she whispered. "You have no idea what you're in for."

_**Want more chapters? Please review and let me know what you think of the story so far. I really enjoy feedback!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

_**A/N: Sorry for the long delay in writing this chapter. I was preoccupied with work and then I went on a trip overseas. Thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing. Keep your feedback coming!**_

As Darrin read his newspaper, he suddenly got the feeling that somebody was watching

him. He immediately put his paper down and glanced around him suspiciously, until his eyes fell upon Tabitha's large white teddy bear, which was sitting on a chair at the dining table.

Darrin laughed quietly. "I guess Tabitha wanted you to eat with us tonight," he said jestingly to the bear.

He then returned to his paper and then suddenly heard the bear reply in a low gravelly voice, "I wish I could join you, but I'm allergic to cheese."

Darrin froze, unable to believe what he was hearing. "Wh…what?" he sputtered, thinking he must have imagined it. He'd been working too hard on his client's campaign and he clearly needed a break.

"What's wrong, can't you hear me?" the bear questioned. This time, Darrin could even see its mouth moving as it spoke.

"I said I wish I could join you, but I'm allergic to cheese. And I know that lasagne's full of cheese. I saw Mrs. Stephens grating it earlier."

Darrin closed his eyes, rubbed them quickly and then opened them again. The bear was still there. And now it seemed to have a puzzled expression on its face.

"Say, Mr. Stephens, are you all right? Can I get you a headache tablet or something? We've still got some, from the last time your mother visited."

An incredulous Darrin suddenly sympathised profoundly with his mother, who always seemed to come down with sick headaches whenever she visited her son. He decided such sick headaches must be hereditary, because his head certainly felt like it was bursting now. Was he really having a conversation with Tabitha's teddy bear?

"Why are you talking? You're just a teddy bear!" he exclaimed, as he rubbed his temples with his left hand.

Now instead of looking puzzled, the bear looked offended. "Why are you talking? You're just a human!" it said indignantly.

Darrin began to shake. Clearly he was being overworked. It was all Larry's fault for working him so hard. No sane person would ever think that they were having a conversation with a teddy bear!

All the same, he stood up, picked up his paper and began to move slowly towards the door, never once taking his eyes off the bear. He then fled to the relative safety of the living room, where he mixed himself a drink and collapsed on the couch.

During all of this, Tabitha had been playing quietly in her bedroom, unaware of the mischief that her grandmother was causing. She had been having a tea party with her dolls and suddenly realised that her teddy bear was missing.

She looked around furtively. Mommy and Daddy were nowhere in sight. "Teddy, come!" she ordered and she wiggled her nose.

Darrin was drinking his scotch and soda quickly, eager to let the alcohol wipe out his apparent conversation with one of his daughter's toys. He'd heard of men who were drunk having conversations with inanimate objects. He'd never realised it could happen to men who were sober!

As he finished his drink, he glanced warily towards the kitchen and noticed with alarm that the teddy bear was no longer sitting in its chair. Where had it gone?

He received his answer a moment later, when he heard a whooshing noise, looked up and saw the teddy bear floating in the air above his head. It lingered there for a moment, before slowly dancing its way up the stairs.

Darrin sat there for a moment, trembling, before tentatively getting up and heading for the liquor cabinet once again. It was time for another scotch. And this time, he wouldn't be putting soda into it.

When Samantha finally came downstairs to check on her lasagne, she was surprised to find her husband sitting on the couch, red-faced and shaking as he gulped down yet another scotch.

"Darrin? Darling, what's wrong?" she asked gently. She knew Darrin liked a drink as much as the next man, but from the nearly empty bottle of scotch on the coffee table, he seemed to have gone a bit too far.

Darrin tried to answer, but his voice came out slurred and indistinguishable. Now Samantha really was alarmed.

"Darrin! Darrin! Are you all right?" she exclaimed in concern. He opened his mouth to reply, but just as he did, Tabitha descended the stairs with her white teddy bear tucked under her left arm.

He then made the most extraordinary noise – a sound that sounded like he was gulping, choking and screaming simultaneously. "Th…the…that…bear," he finally managed to splutter, as he pointed to the teddy bear Tabitha was cradling.

Samantha looked where he was pointing and her forehead furrowed in confusion. "Tabitha's teddy bear? What's wrong? I don't understand."

Darrin looked like he was about to hyperventilate. He began gasping for air and Samantha's eyes widened in shock.

"Darrin, what's wrong? Please calm down and tell me what's wrong," she begged.

He took a deep breath and then another, before finally regaining his composure.

"Where did that bear come from?" he demanded angrily.

"I bought it for Tabitha last week, at the toy store," Samantha answered, taken aback by his angry tone of voice.

"Oh, is that right?" Darrin exclaimed. "Well, it's going back to the toy store first thing tomorrow morning. First thing tomorrow morning, do you hear me?"

"Darrin, you're being ridiculous," Samantha exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips. "Why do we have to return Tabitha's bear?"

"Because…because there's something wrong with it," Darrin said, his eyes darting nervously towards the toy.

"_What's_ wrong with it?" Samantha retorted impatiently. What on earth had gotten into Darrin? He was acting so strangely and she still didn't know why.

"It talks," Darrin whispered. "It talked to me and said that it would love to join us for dinner, but that it was allergic to cheese. It also offered me a headache tablet."

"Sweetheart, you've just been drinking too much," Samantha said with a sigh. "Come on, let's have dinner. I'm sure you'll feel better once you've gotten some food into your stomach."

"I have not been drinking too much!" Darrin argued indignantly. "There's something wrong with that bear. I tell you, there's something wrong with it!"

Amidst his protestations, Samantha took him by the hand and led him to the dining table. "Let's just have a nice dinner," she said firmly. Darrin knew better than to argue with Samantha when she spoke in that firm tone.

An invisible Endora chuckled and congratulated herself on a job well done. But manipulating the teddy bear was only the beginning. She had many more surprises in store for Darrin.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six****:**

_Special thanks to ScarlettLovesRhett, alyells and RainbowAquila for their encouraging reviews of the last chapter. It's people like you who keep me writing this story! =)_

_By the way, I'm going to insert a plug here. I've started another Bewitched story called __In A Mortal's Shoes__, in which Aunt Clara casts a spell to help Endora and Darrin learn how to tolerate each other. Unfortunately the spell works a little too well and they end up switching bodies! The first chapter is already up. Would love to have some feedback on what you think of the story so far. Thanks in advance!_

The next morning, Samantha yawned and stretched, as she rolled over in bed to face her still-sleeping husband. She smiled as she brushed a lock of dark hair from his closed eyes. He was sleeping so peacefully, that she didn't have the heart to wake him up.

However, Samantha's smile quickly became a frown, as she once again considered how strangely Darrin had been acting recently. Something was definitely wrong and she was sure that in one way or another, witchcraft was to blame. But how was she going to fix things, when she couldn't get hold of her mother?

She quietly slipped out of bed and decided to get dressed. Not wanting to wake Darrin, she twitched her nose and her lacy nightgown was instantly transformed into a sleeveless pale green dress. Then she twitched again and popped into the den, where she furtively glanced around and shut the door.

"Calling Doctor Bombay!" she whispered as loudly as she dared. "Calling Doctor Bombay! Emergency, come right away!"

Immediately, the portly warlock appeared, looking extremely annoyed as usual. He was dressed in tennis whites and carried a racket in his left hand.

"What's the meaning of this, Samantha?" he demanded. "I was just about to enjoy a nice game of tennis."

"I thought you hated tennis, Dr Bombay," Samantha remarked.

"Well, not when I'm playing with my nurse!" Dr Bombay exclaimed and bellowed with laughter at his own joke. Noticing that Samantha didn't look amused, he sighed and snapped his fingers. Instantly the tennis racket disappeared and his tennis whites became ordinary clothing.

"What can I do for you, Samantha?" he asked. "Is it a case of spellfluenza? I told you that living in the mortal realm wouldn't make you immune from witches' illnesses!"

"Oh, no, it's not me, Dr Bombay," Samantha hastily reassured him. "It's Darrin. My husband. He's been acting funny lately and I want to find out what's wrong."

Dr Bombay snorted derisively. "Of course he acts funny, Samantha – he's a mortal. But you knew that when you married him. Now if that's all, I need to get back to my nurse."

"No, Dr Bombay, please wait!" Samantha pleaded. "I really think something's wrong with him. Can't you find out what's wrong?"

"I don't take mortals as patients, Samantha," Dr Bombay said stiffly. "Witches, warlocks, elves, goblins, leprechauns, fairies, yes. Even familiars. But not mortals."

And with another snap of his fingers, he changed his clothes once more and his tennis racket reappeared in his left hand.

"Back to my tennis match," he said. "Call me if you have a WITCH that needs curing, Samantha." He waved and then vanished.

"Oh, Dr Bombay! Dr Bombay!" Samantha called desperately, but it was to no avail. She sighed. Now, how was she going to figure out what was the matter with Darrin?

Meanwhile, a hung-over Darrin had stumbled downstairs and made it out the front door to grab the morning paper. As usual, the paperboy had thrown it by the mailbox and Darrin bent down to take it. However, as he reached for the newspaper, it mysteriously sidled away from him. Darrin stopped and rubbed his eyes. Surely he was seeing things? Teddy bears didn't talk and newspapers couldn't walk!

He reached for it again and again, it moved a few inches away. This continued for quite some time with Darrin consistently trying to grab the newspaper and with the newspaper consistently moving just out of his grasp. Attempting to outsmart the newspaper, Darrin froze and waited patiently, as the newspaper danced around the front lawn and then slowly inched towards him. Darrin kept very still as the paper gingerly moved closer.

"Aha!" he finally cried and pounced – only to find himself landing rather ungracefully on the front lawn. The paper had shifted at the last possible second and successfully dodged his pounce.

"Oh my," he groaned, as he shook his head and saw stars for a minute.

" _Mr Stephens_?" asked an incredulous voice. Darrin groaned louder, as he recognised the voice of his overly nosy neighbour, Gladys Kravitz. Trust her to come along at the very moment he was lying sprawled on his front lawn!

"Hello, Mrs Kravitz," he replied calmly. "How are you this morning?"

"Fine, fine," Mrs Kravitz said, but she wasn't distracted by Darrin's attempt to make small talk. "Mr Stephens, what on Earth are you doing on your front lawn like that?"

Darrin wanted to tell her that he'd been chasing a newspaper that kept running away from him, but was fully aware of how implausible that sounded. "Oh, just thought I'd see how the grass was doing," he joked weakly. He patted it with his right hand. "Seems to be doing fine."

"Uh-huh," Mrs Kravitz answered, clearly not convinced. Her suspicious expression made Darrin feel rather uncomfortable.

"And since it's doing fine, I guess I'll go back inside," he said hastily. He got up carefully and brushed the dirt off his elbows and pants. "Goodbye, Mrs Kravitz." He walked towards the door as quickly as he could.

"Oh, Mr Stephens!" Mrs Kravitz called. "You forgot to take in your morning newspaper."

Darrin involuntarily shuddered at the thought of chasing that runaway newspaper again. "I'll take it later, Mrs Kravitz," he replied. Perhaps he could ask Samantha to bring it in.

"All right then," said Mrs Kravitz, frowning as Darrin rushed inside and quickly shut the door behind him. Mr Stephens was really behaving very oddly today. Why wouldn't he bring in his newspaper?

She glanced at the newspaper, still lying on the front lawn, and reached for it. The newspaper, delighted to have someone new to play tricks on, instantly moved away, just out of her reach.

Stunned, Mrs Kravitz reached for it again and the newspaper danced out of reach once more. She tried a third time and this time, the newspaper actually levitated into the air and zoomed to the other end of the lawn.

Mrs Kravitz's eyes widened in shock and she put her hand over her mouth briefly. Wait until Abner heard about this. She ran out of the Stephens' front yard and raced frantically down the street to her house. From inside the kitchen, Darrin cringed as he heard Mrs Kravitz screaming, "Abner, Abner!"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So I just realised that this has been a work-in-progress for a shamefully long time. And although I originally had many more chapters planned for this story – many more guest appearances from our favourite characters and a good deal more hilarity before Darrin and Samantha finally hit upon the truth – I've decided that it's time to complete it and put poor Darrin out of his misery. This will be the last chapter. **

**Old readers - thank you so much for your support and encouragement. This was the first story I started writing for Fan Fiction and I really appreciated your feedback. I can't end this story without sending one last shout-out to Rainbow Aquila for being my most loyal reader/reviewer. **

**New readers - thank you so much for giving this story a chance. If you're interested in reading my other stories, just check out my profile. I update it every time I post up a new chapter or story.**

At that moment, Samantha was blissfully unaware of her husband's fear and her neighbour's astonishment. She was upstairs in the nursery, playing with her daughter.

"Okay, sweetheart, it's time to pick up your toys," she said finally. "You and Adam need to take a nap." Tabitha obediently began picking up her dolls and handed them to her mother, who carefully began putting them back in their respective positions. She frowned as Tabitha handed her the large white teddy bear which had seemed to be the source of Darrin's distress last night.

"Daddy doesn't like my bear," Tabitha said innocently, noticing her mother's frown. "Don't you like my bear, either, Mommy?"

"Oh, of course I like your bear, sweetheart," Samantha soothed quickly. "Daddy just doesn't like the bear because..." She paused. How could she tell her daughter that Darrin didn't like the bear because he'd drunk too much and thought it was offering him a headache tablet?

"Just because," she amended quickly and then silently groaned, because she knew that Tabitha wouldn't be satisfied with a pat answer. Sure enough, Tabitha looked confused and persisted. "But _why_ because?"

Samantha was still searching for the right answer when Tabitha asked tentatively, "Does Daddy not like my bear because I used magic to make him come upstairs?"

Samantha froze. "Oh, Tabitha. You didn't?" She looked closely at her daughter's face and her eyes widened in alarm. "You did!"

Tabitha's lower lip wobbled and she looked as though she might burst into tears any second. "I wanted my bear last night and I used a spell to get him," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Mommy."

Last night, Darrin hadn't been able to stop ranting and raving about how he'd seen the teddy bear dance upstairs. Samantha finally understood what he'd meant and was glad that there was a logical explanation for it.

"Oh, Tabitha," she said with a sigh. "How many times do I have to tell you not to wiggle your nose? Mortals aren't the same as us, sweetheart. They get frightened and confused when they see magic."

"But Daddy knows about magic!" Tabitha said petulantly. "He shouldn't get frightened and confused."

"No," Samantha agreed. "But not everyone knows about it. Mrs Kravitz doesn't understand and neither do your Uncle Larry and Aunt Louise. We've had this conversation before, remember?"

Suddenly a little lightbulb went off in Samantha's head. Her toddler daughter had just hit the nail on the head. Darrin did know about magic and therefore it shouldn't frighten or confuse him. But he sure wasn't acting as though he knew about it.

"That's it!" she exclaimed aloud. "Mother, I know what you did. You cast a spell to make Darrin forget about magic! No wonder he's been acting so strangely lately. Oh, Mother, I'm not sure what you were trying to accomplish by this. But I've got to hand it to you – you sure are a sneaky witch."

Samantha sighed. She knew what she had to do and she wasn't looking forward to it. It was time to tell her husband the truth about herself. She had to confess to him that she was a witch... again. And hope that he would accept it... again.

"Darrin?" Samantha called apprehensively, as she knocked on their closed bedroom door. "Darrin, can I come in?"

Receiving no answer, she pushed the door open gently, to find Darrin sitting on their bed with his face in his hands.

"Sweetheart, are you alright?" Samantha asked, walking up to the bed and placing her hand on his shoulder.

Darrin looked at his wife briefly and groaned . "Oh, Sam, you deserve a better husband than me."

"Don't you ever say a thing like that again, Darrin Stephens," Samantha said sternly. "You're the best husband in the world. What makes you think I could do any better?"

Darrin lifted his tortured dark eyes to hers and groaned again. "You deserve a man who still has sanity," he said with a sigh.

Samantha bit her lip, knowing that the confession she was about to make would clear up the doubts Darrin had about his sanity. However she wasn't expecting him to take the confession well. She suddenly felt as though she was a new bride again, anxiously waiting for the right moment to tell her groom that she was a witch, and not knowing how he would react. Would he embrace the idea? Would he grudgingly accept it? Would he think that she was the one who needed a straitjacket? Or would he just flat-out reject her?

But this time, she had Tabitha to think of, as well as herself. She felt a quick rush of anger flood through her. How could her mother have put her into such a position?

"Darrin?" she said in a small voice. "You're not insane. I can explain everything."

Darrin looked at her in amazement. "Explain everything? Why, you don't even know everything that's been happening to me, Sam!"

"Maybe not," Samantha said sadly. "But what I have to tell you will explain it all, anyway." She paused. "Or perhaps I'd better show you."

Darrin continued to watch her, the puzzled expression still on his handsome face.

"Would you like a drink?" she said quietly. "Or have you had enough alcohol to last you for the week?"

"Wouldn't mind a martini," Darrin said frankly, having conveniently forgotten the physical ill-effects of that morning's hangover.

"One martini coming up," Samantha said, twitching her nose. An instant later, a gin martini in a cocktail glass appeared in Darrin's hand.

He did a double take. "Sam! You saw that too, right?"

"I didn't just see it," Samantha replied calmly. "I made it appear."

Darrin was sure he must have misheard. "You what?" he said cautiously, not willing to say what he'd thought she had said.

"I made it appear," she repeated.

"Oh," Darrin said dumbly. That _was _what she had said. As Samantha had predicted, Darrin had forgotten his concerns about losing his own mind and was suddenly worried about her mental health.

"Now, honey, maybe you've been working too hard. Why don't you lie down and take a little nap?" he suggested condescendingly. He took a sip of his martini. "Looks like my imagination forgot to include the olives."

"Olives, huh?" Samantha twitched her nose again and a couple of olives appeared in Darrin's cocktail glass. He froze.

"Those olives... they weren't there a couple of seconds ago," he stammered.

"No, Darrin, they weren't," Samantha stated patiently. "That's because I put them there. How about a cigar to go with your martini?"

She waved her hand and the box of cigars lying on Darrin's dresser mysteriously opened. A fat cigar slowly rose out of the box and floated across the room until it was hovering in front of Darrin. He gingerly reached out and took it. Samantha twitched her nose once more and the cigar was instantly lit.

Darrin looked like he'd seen a ghost. His complexion was pale and his eyes were large, as he slowly got off the bed and took a step away from Samantha. "Who are you?" he said hoarsely, brandishing the martini and cigar as though he could use them as potential weapons.

"I'm Samantha. I'm your wife, Darrin, and I'm the mother of your child," Samantha said firmly. She lowered her eyes for a second before raising them to meet his gaze again. "But I'm also a witch."

Darrin choked. "A w-w-w-witch? But witches don't exist! They're characters from fairytales!"

Samantha shrugged. "Do you have a better explanation for all the strange things that have been happening?"

"Yes," Darrin said, nodding her head decisively. "I've been working too hard. Larry's crazy demands have finally driven me insane."

"Sweetheart, deep in your heart, you know this rings true," Samantha said quietly. "I'm a witch and Tabitha's a witch and so's my mother..."

Darrin snorted. "Well, I have no problem believing that Endora is one." He looked pleadingly at his wife, searching for a twinkle in her eye, a telltale dimple – anything that would tell him this was all a stupid joke. But her face was deadly serious. And Darrin realized that perhaps this wasn't a joke. Perhaps she really meant it.

"My wife's a witch," he said unbelievingly. "My wife's a witch."

"Yes, darling," Samantha affirmed anxiously. "Does it matter to you?"

Darrin closed his eyes and drained his cocktail glass dry. When he opened them, Samantha was still standing there, waiting expectantly for an answer.

"What do you think?" she urged again, a look of panic flashing across her lovely eyes.

Darrin put his glass down and reached for his jacket. "I think... I think I need to go for another drink. The old-fashioned way," he added hastily.

Minutes later, Samantha heard his car starting in the driveway. This time she was the one left sitting on their bed with her face in her hands. All she could do was wait for him to come back. If he came back.

"Give me a whiskey, Carl," Darrin ordered, as he slid into a barstool at his favourite bar.

The bartender looked surprised to see him. "Little early to be drinking, don't you think, Mr Stephens?"

Darrin ignored the disapproving expression on Carl's face. "Not too early on a day like this," he said bitterly. "Make that whiskey a double."

Carl shrugged as he turned away and began to fix Darrin's drink. Who was he to judge what his customers did? Especially customers who always left good tips.

"What's the matter, pal? You look like you just lost your best friend," slurred the disreputable-looking drunk on the next barstool.

"Worse," Darrin said morosely as he accepted his double whiskey and chugged it down quickly. "I'm married to a witch."

The drunk waggled his finger at Darrin. "If you think you're married to a witch, you should see my wife."

For the first couple of hours, Samantha hadn't been able to stop watching the clock. Fortunately Tabitha had then woken up from her nap and demanded her attention, or she would have been sitting mindlessly on her bed all day.

It was now nearing 10:30 and it was long past Tabitha's bedtime. Samantha had tried phoning the office to check if Darrin had gone to work, but her hopes were dashed when Larry had told her he hadn't seen Darrin all day.

_Perhaps the news was just too much for him, _Samantha thought sadly. _Maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut. Tabitha and I have had to try live normal lives in front of everyone else anyway. Would it have been so hard to try keep our true selves from Darrin too?_

But she knew it would have been. Although Samantha had given up on using her powers for the most part, she couldn't deny that being a witch was very much an integral part of who she was and who Tabitha was. She knew that keeping her magical heritage a secret from Darrin would have put a huge strain on their marriage. The last couple of days were evidence of that. If only... if only he would come home.

"Hello, Sam."

Samantha spun around quickly and saw Darrin there with his hands behind his back.

A rush of joy flooded through her soul. "Oh, Darrin, I'm so glad you came back," she said softly. "Look, I know the news was hard to take and I should have thought of a better way to tell you. I'm so sorry."

"No, I'm the one who's sorry, Sam," Darrin argued earnestly. "Oh, it was definitely a shock, don't get me wrong. But I shouldn't have run off the way that I did. In our wedding vows I promised to love you until death did us part. I intend to keep faithful to those vows, even if marrying a witch wasn't originally part of the plan."

Samantha breathed a sigh of relief and her lips curved into a smile. "Oh, Darrin, I love you so much!" she said ecstatically.

"I love you too, sweetheart," Darrin said. "You and Tabitha – more than anything else in the world." He brought his hands out from behind his back slowly, producing a long white box.

"For me?" Samantha said in surprise. She gasped as she opened the box. Inside lay a gold chain with a heart-shaped pendant.

"Oh, Darrin! It's beautiful."

"Read the inscription," her husband said eagerly.

Samantha fumbled with the clasp and opened the pendant carefully. Tears formed as she read the intricately-carved inscription inside the pendant.

"True love can overcome anything," she read aloud. "Oh, Darrin, it's perfect. And I really do believe it's true." She wrapped her arms around his neck and they shared a long, deep kiss, not realizing that Endora had popped into the room.

"Oh, how absolutely sickening!" she exclaimed in disgust.

Samantha looked at her mother and smiled. "I think it's time to reverse that spell, Mother," she said with a laugh. "Not that it'll do much good now that I've already told Darrin the truth and he's already accepted it."

Endora pulled a face but waved a hand and muttered a few words under her breath. "There! All reversed. Happy now?"

"We'd be a lot happier if you could leave and let us just finish what we were doing," Darrin said frankly.

Samantha giggled. "Oh, Darrin."

Endora made a gagging noise. "You make me sick, Durwood." She hastily popped out, leaving Darrin and Samantha on their own once more.

"Hey, that's the fastest we've ever gotten your mother to leave," Darrin remarked. "We should try this method more often."

"Perhaps we should," Samantha murmured. "But first, I want you to help me put on my new necklace."

She had a feeling that this wouldn't be Endora's last attempt to thwart their marriage. She wanted to make sure that she always remembered the pendant's message – that true love could overcome anything.


End file.
